Michal Jordán

I sat nervously in my seat on the plane, watching as one teammate after another walked down the aisle to the front seat, which belonged to the coaches.

“Next!”

One defenseman, two defensemen. There are already quite a few that could be good…

And then a guy from the club PR tapped me on my shoulder: "Michael, you have to go see the coach."

No, not this! I stood up stunned because I knew what that meant. They were sending me to the farm team. Why me again? I felt helpless. I couldn't do this anymore. If the coach wanted to talk to you at this point, the only reason was to let you know that you were leaving.

I wasn't wrong.

The previous four seasons in Carolina, I had played for the AHL team. Every day, I walked to the stadium with a goal to prove to them that I had what it takes to play in the NHL. Summer after summer, I returned from the Czech Republic better and more mature. I had already competed in the World Championships in Minsk. I felt that this training camp was successful for me and I showed what I could do. I was doing the right things on the ice.

And then we flew to a pre-season game in Columbus.

The Blue Jackets played with the best lineup, while we arrived with a group of newcomers, boys from the farm team, and fresh from the junior leagues. I looked at the lineup and I knew we had a damn hard job ahead of us. Before the game, coach Bill Peters stood in the locker room and said: "Show us that you want to be here. Today is your chance to win a place on this team."

I'll do my best, I thought.

We lost 6-3, but I was the best of the defensemen. I was the only one left with positive statistics. I scored a goal to take the lead, and I assisted on another goal. I played well, I had points, I thought it might work. Then there was a tap on the shoulder, and I walked slowly to the front of the plane.

It was like the minutes before an execution.

I could feel the looks of the other guys, who, like me, were just hoping that these interviews would end. I was the last convict. Those who were not called remained on the team. The fact that I went to see the coach meant that they had succeeded. They were looking at me, and even if they were trying to hide it, I knew how happy they were that they did not have to leave. I would have felt the same way.

In the training camp, you have to be selfish, you can't make friends. There could be fifteen people fighting for one place. In this situation, it is almost impossible to make friends. This time, I knew that I was better than three or four of those boys, but it's never just about hockey in the NHL. It's also about business. You may be far better than anyone else, but you don't know what the organization’s plan is with each of us. You can only influence one thing: your performance.

In my case, even that was not enough.

In the front sat Peters with his assistants and the general manager. They told me what I expected. They said I played badly in defense. I always kept quiet and accepted what they told me, but at that time I couldn't stay silent.

"I really don't know what else to do,” I said. “I played great in this camp, and if you want to find a problem with my game, you will always find it. What does 'wrong on defense' mean? I don't like it here anymore, I don't want to go back to the farm. I am going back to Europe. "

I was straightforward. They probably didn't expect this from me, so they told me that I shouldn't leave; that they were still counting on me. They asked how old I was.

"Twenty-four," I said.

"Then hold on,” they said. “You'll be in the NHL soon, and you can play for another 10 years. "

"That's nice,” I said. “But you're sending me to the farm team again, for the fifth time. "

That was the end of our conversation. The rest of the flight was hell. I wanted to jump out with a parachute and never come back. The very next day, I called my agent and told him everything. That I'd had enough. I had sacrificed a lot for my goal to play in the NHL, and I saw that it was not going anywhere, so I wanted to go back to Europe. He agreed and promised to start calling clubs that might be interested. But he said it would take a while, so I had to keep working until then and wait to hear from.